Another “Poly” is Great! Post – NOT!

I am not writing this post to tell you how wonderful “poly” is. Nor will I use this to try and convince you that you may well be poly even if you don’t think so. That is not my place to decide.

But I would like to make a simple point.

Poly is Not a Cult

Since I have labeled myself as poly, it seems I have found myself in a very strange place within this wonderful world of kink and acceptance. It is a place of instant judgment, even if sometimes words are not used to judge me. Oh, don’t worry… words have been posted many times about how selfish someone is for wanting to be poly. But that is not the point I am making in this post.

It seems that interactions with others get strange when they realize that you consider yourself poly. Whether in a conversation or in just introductions, somehow it is automatically assumed that if you are talking to someone, you are trying to recruit them to your weird poly group. As if it is some of cult! LOL

When I identify myself as poly, it is merely an admission that I know I can truly love and care for more than one person at a time.

Seriously… haven’t we all been there are some point? Perhaps you were dating 2 people at once and for the life of you could not decide which one you wanted? Maybe because you wanted them both? The fact that you loved and cared for both did not mean that you loved one or the other less, did it? Wouldn’t it have been just perfect if they both loved you enough to accept that you also loved another?

I have been there, but in most cases, have been forced to choose. Hell, in my youth, I forced another to choose ( and I lost out! ) I was selfish, and I wanted her all to myself. And in that act of selfishness, I lost out on something that could have been amazing.

I am not selfish

This is the most frustrating misconception that I seem to deal with in talking to people. That being poly means I am selfish. After all, I just want a bunch of sluts around me, right? The more the merrier! Wrong!

I don’t care for everyone, but when I do care, I care deeply. When I fall, I give my all. And yes, I can fall for more than one. I have dealt with this my whole life, but always had to choose one over another. Usually, in doing so, I also had to deny a major part of who I am, and in giving all of myself to the one, I lost part of who I was and they ended up with less of me in the end. Now, go try and figure that shit out!

Stop Judging.

Look, I am not into water sports or scat. Nor am I into diaper play or rape fantasy. But I do not go around judging others based on what their thing is. And while I don’t see poly as a type of kink, it seems to be something even the most deviant of individuals think they can judge another for.

Are there selfish assholes that call themselves poly? Of course! But there are a shit ton more selfish assholes that claim to be monogamous as well, and yet no one judges that!

Any one who knows me, who really takes the time to understand me, knows I am not selfish. Even as a leader, I am a very giving person. It is my nature… part of who I am. I just choose to not have to choose who I can or can’t love because we have all be somehow raised to think that there is just one perfect person for us. I was also taught growing up not to raise my hand against a woman… and no one ever said “unless she wants you to.” Sometimes we have to let go of some of the “traditional” programming to actually enjoy life.

End Rant.